There are an awful lot of angry eyes when the rainbow light breaks into fractals and dissolves into the visible stream. Tony steps back, lifting his hands ever so slightly. Rogers looks like he wants to punch him, but he just squares his jaw instead and somehow makes Tony feel small and inadequate.
It must be something that men from that era can do. His dad used to give him that same look.
Tony exhales very slowly and squares his shoulders. It’s time to pretend he doesn’t care.
Striding forward, out of the intricate pattern that the Bifrost left, Tony slips his hands into his pockets. “Sorry, got called away. What did I miss?”
“Tony?” For some reason, Tony keeps on forgetting about Pepper. His stomach flip flops as she pushes through the others and flings her arms around him.
Unbeknownst to Tony, Loki had a shield around them the second they landed. Even assuming Thor perfectly explained the situation (which is a big assumption, by Loki's reckoning), he would not put it past several of the humans to begin shooting on sight. As soon as it is clear they are not in immediate danger, he drops the invisible barrier to allow for better interaction.
There are few people on the platform. Thor, who had come down shortly before them, Captain Rogers, doing his best impression of a glare at Stark, Nick Fury, who Loki believes is just glaring all the time, and a red head he does not recognize. When she runs forward and throws herself at Stark he realizes this must be his lover.
She is beautiful, and Loki feels a muted form of the pang of guilt Tony has for not thinking of her while they were away. He also feels the affection, though what happens with that is entirely up to the two of them at this point.
Not wanting to interrupt the couple's reunion, Loki strides over to Fury and Rogers.
"Captain Rogers, have you had a chance to review the information I left for you regarding our enemy?"
Steve gives Loki the 'I don't trust you, but neither can I punch you right now' look. "Yeah, lot of good intel in there. If you're telling the truth, it'll be pretty helpful."
"Awful lot of info for only a couple months on board this ship," Fury says. "You gave us pretty much everything but the guy's shoe size."
"I have a good memory," Loki says, not entirely enjoying the tone the Director is taking.
"Uh huh, and we're just suppose to believe that you haven't put that weird juju on Stark and Thor to get close to us?" Fury asks.
"I highly doubt there's anything I can do that would actually convince you, so yes."
Tiring of the conversation, Loki looks back to Tony and the woman, Pepper. Suddenly there's a sharp pain on his left hand. He hisses and whips around to see the thin cut just beginning to bleed there. Steve is staring at Fury in angry disbelief, likely due to the knife in the spy's hand.
Tony had been rubbing Pepper’s back, listening to her complain about him leaving, about the lack of information, how mad she is that he left her thinking he had died, and that they have so much work to do now that he’s back, when he hisses himself and pulls away. Pepper looks confused, her mascara collecting under her lashes, but Tony is too busy looking at his hand. Pepper joins him in that, gripping his hand in both of hers. “Tony? What is it?”
Dark eyes leave Pepper’s face and his hand to trail the space between himself and Loki. There’s a questioning look on his face, before he shakes his hand out and lets Pepper take it again. “I didn’t mean to worry you but—“. He can’t focus. Loki’s been hurt. His bonded had been injured and it’s getting him bothered under the collar. “Sorry. Excuse me... what the hell are you doing?”
Shock is a strong word for what Loki is feeling. It implies heighten heart rate, grievous injury, or at least actual betrayal. No, Loki is more indignant. Apparently Captain Rogers is as well. Fury isn't paying attention to the lecture he's currently receiving , though. His eye is on Tony, seeing the reaction hit the moment Loki was cut.
"Testing if what Horns over here was the truth or not," Fury says as he wipes the dagger off on. "At least we can confirm the pain part. You're hand alright?"
"Perfectly fine," Loki says, drawing a healing rune in his own blood next to the cut.
“Do you think we can stop being barbaric assholes and stabbing people for no reason?” Tony spits back, feeling Pepper at his side with that horrible look of concern on her face.
She doesn’t know. No one’s filled her in.
Tony isn’t sure why that makes him so angry. It hadn’t been anyone’s place to tell her, but maybe it would have made things easier. Or worse. Tony isn’t rightly sure. He drops his hand and bumps it against Pepper’s. “We need to talk,” he says. “And I’m not going to sugar coat it, Pep. It’s not great.”
Tony tries not to look up at Loki as he turns away from the group to get Pepper somewhere with less eyes. Of course, Fury always needs to get his answers. He’s maddeningly thorough that way. “Stark?” He repeats the last question and Tony holds his hand up before flipping the Cyclops off.
Loki will be all right without him. He’ll be all right. He’s got Thor. He can take care of himself. He tried to destroy their planet and kill them but he provided a lot of good information and he’s going to be fine.
It takes a lot of strength fo Tony to leave his side but he does.
Loki watches him leave, his heart heavy for the uneasy conversation he knows is about to transpire. He knows they will be hurt, but he can hope that the Lady Pepper will not see fit to cast Tony out of her life completely.
He sighs and finishes the rune. The cut doesn't heal, but it does stop bleeding at least.
Fury whistles. "That's a neat trick. Why didn't you do that earlier when you were trying to kill us all?"
Loki completely ignores him, turning instead to Captain Rogers and Thor. "Shall we go inside and begin discussing strategies? I assume, Thor, you secured Odin's word to assist when the time comes?"
Thor nods, still staring angrily at Fury. "Aye, Father has promised as many Einherjar as can be spared without leaving Asgard defenseless."
Loki dutifully ignores Fury for the rest of the conversation. Sensing how on edge he is, Rogers suggests Fury go back to the hellicarrier while they get to work in the tower. After Fury leaves, Thor claps Loki on the back.
"Well done, brother. I thought you were going to turn him into a frog for sure," The thunderer says.
"That was the one time, Thor. And only because you destroyed my arcane theory notes."
Loki isn't sure where Tony is, but he knows he's close by. It's weird being apart, but then it's a different kind of weird feeling weird that they're apart. They go down the hall and to a large open common area ajoined to a kitchen.
"Seriously, Loki," Rogers says as Thor heads to the kitchen. "Thanks for not hurting Director Fury. He attacked you unprovoked, it would have been the perfect excuse."
"And exactly what he wanted," Loki says absentmindedly, trying not to stare down the hallway he just knows Tony is going to emerge from.
There’s no easy way around this and Tony has never been good at sugar coating poison pills before he doses anyone with them. The last thing Tony wants to do is hurt Pepper. Out of everyone in his life, she’s cared for him the most and the best. She deserves better and all he can do is look down and wish Loki was with him as he explains what he’s going through.
She doesn’t understand. She says she does but who could unless they feel it? Her questions are pointed and Tony is as honest as he can be without offering more information than she’s expecting.
As Loki goes over the compiled information, as he explains the intricacies of the research SHIELD has facilitated based on what he’d already given them, he’ll feel the pain and hope and the guilt that goes through Tony as Pepper tries her best to set boundaries.
It’s not going to work. Tony holds her hands and tells her that he loves her but he knows this isn’t going to work.
He wants to be with Loki. He doesn’t say it but maybe it comes through the bond even as he promises not to let anything change between himself and Pepper.
It will. It already has. And he hates himself for lying.
The information is hard to get through at times with the rolling emotions coming through the bond. He's going to need to practice keeping his emotions separate from Tony because this is tiring. If this is how the human was feeling while they were in Asgard, Loki almost feels bad for him.
Rogers is surprisingly helpful to his focus. Loki knows his reputation as a tactician, so he shouldn't be as surprised as he is when he asks about an aspect of Thanos' forces Loki hadn't considered. He even notices the miniscule flinch Loki gives when Thor says the monster's name and begins calling him the Titan instead.
Near the end of Tony's conversation with Pepper, Loki stands.
"Pardon me, for just a moment." He leaves the room and heads down the strangely familiar halls. He stops just outside the only room with a closed door, soft voices conversing on just the other side. He's about to knock, but then stops himself.
This is silly. Stark is a grown man, he can handle himself. He's not in any danger, Loki's presence there would likely make the situation even more awkward. No, he's the god of Lies, he can come up with something.
The conversation ends abruptly as Pepper composes herself. “We need a few minutes,” she says, voice stronger than what Tony expects, but he shakes his head at her. He hadn’t noticed that Loki was getting closer, but now that he’s focused on him, he can tell who is just through the door. Tony feels relief and annoyance at that relief, and maybe both of those show on his face as Pepper pulls away from him. It’s the first time she’s done that, almost as if she was afraid of being caught. “Oh. Him.”
“He probably could tell I was—“
“Upset? You? Tony,” she sounds so tired and maybe a little broken. Had she slept at all since the attack? “He did this. All of this. They’re saying that there’s over five thousand people missing. Thousands have died or were hurt—“
“Pepper, this wasn’t anyone’s plan. He’s not happy about it either,” Tony counters, under his breath, purposefully not mentioning how fulfilling an experience it’s becoming for him.
“Why not Thor?”
Tony frowns. “It doesn’t work that w— Wait. Why Thor?”
“That would have been sexier,” Pepper says as her heels click on the floor. She’s approaching it to open it for her boyfriend’s new... well. They don’t have a name for it other than soulmate and she’s not using that one.
“So is Thor your type now? Because he’s not mine.”
“I thought you like blondes,” Pepper shoots back, then clears her throat and wipes her eyes before she opens the door. Her gaze is steady. “Did you need something?”
"Yes, Captain Rogers needed..." The lie dies on his lips when he sees the roiling emotions in her eyes. Why, out of everything that's happened, does he feel the worst about this?
He sighs. "Stark has explained the situation regarding our marks, correct?"
Pepper gives a curt nod. "He has. I still don't believe it, though. You come down here, kill people, try to take over, then what? Get a magic tattoo and stop?" She laughs. "No, there's something else going on, you're aiming for something, and-"
"I'm sorry."
Pepper stops mid-rant. "What?"
"I'm sorry to have caused this schism. If there were a way to undo it, I would." It hurts to say, but he can't help but feel in this moment Tony would be better off, happier, without him. It is a paradox that the bond fosters this care in him, and therefor he wants the bond to end for the sake of his soulmate.
"There is nothing I can do that will fully make up for the destruction I brought to this world," he continues. "But I will do everything I can to try."
He doesn't wait for her to reply before looking to Tony.
"We were planning for search and rescue around the city. The Chitahuri were without guidance for the short time they were here, so any deaths will be incidental, and hopefully many preventable if we act quickly. Captain Rogers has pointed out several destroyed buildings that could still have survivors in them. He had hoped you would have a suit or drone that could assist."
Though Tony would completely agree that yes, he too would undo the bonding if at all possible, of course he would, he’s only a slight masochistic and being tied to the sadist Loki totally appears to be is absolutely the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. Honestly, though, Loki might have grabbed him by the throat and thrown him out of the window for real and it would hurt less to hear it.
When Loki is close, the incessant sound of his own internal monologue and new, ground breaking inventions that almost cripple him fade away to manageable levels without alcohol. He is the epitome of the new and the different. He is the only person who truly will ever be able to understand him.
Tony rubs the place the mark is over his ribs and stands.
“Let me try to help,” Tony says and Pepper does her best not to roll her wet eyes.
“Go. You have work to do,” she says, a variation of what she always says. Tony knows she’d given in to being second to Iron Man.
And he knows being third might be too much for her.
He nods and follows Loki through the door, hands backed into fists. There had been no big, no kiss for Pepper on parting. No goodbye either. But Tony is not at all upset with Loki. He’s thankful.
When Loki is sure Pepper isn't following them, he reaches out and takes one of Tony's fists in his hand. His grip is loose, so the other can easily shake out of it if the contact is too much in the moment, but he has to at least try to provide comfort.
"I am sorry." He doesn't like apologizing, especially for things that aren't even technically his fault, but he doesn't know what else to say.
Tony might not shake out if the grasp, he’s too hedonistically attached to Loki’s touch, but that doesn’t stop him from being angry. Perhaps it’s not obvious, but that anger is directed only at himself and not Loki. He hisses out: “Sorry for what? I know you didn’t plan this. If you had your way, we’d be decimated and that guy you’re afraid of would be on his way to snuff out half of the universe. Oh. And I know you didn’t want this to happen. No-no-no,” he fires, not mocking Loki at all since he doesn’t try to mimic his tone or voice. “That was you. But it’s happened. Things happen. Life happens. I’m just angry at myself for trying to figure out how not to care about what I’m doing to her. I don’t think I have a choice in this. The universe or the Norns or whoever else that I don’t believe in exist by the way but still somehow did this, took away my choice. You. Are. It. For me.”
The bond drums a soothing beat through his head but does nothing to really calm Tony down.
“You’re stuck with me. I halved your life. I’m not someone your family and Asgard want for you. And you— Let’s not sugar coat it. You are public enemy number one and no one is going to understand this for me either. So... that makes us perfect for each other. I guess. So don’t be sorry, got it? I’m not sorry. I don’t want you to be sorry.”
Soulmates can still fight, he's seen it enough times when Odin and Frigga get into arguments, but that doesn't make the act of arguing easier. The connection between them pulls tight, like an emotional rubber band trying to pull two magnets of the same polarity together.
"You don't get to tell me how to feel! I know what this means, far better than you. I am trying to make it easier for you so we don't end up killing ourselves just to get away from each other, because for once in my life, I actually almost like living." The only reason he realizes he's shouting is because Thor and Captain Rogers come running out of the planning room they had set up.
“I do get to tell you how you feel because I feel it too!” Tony ramps up, sharing in the emotional feedback loop. It’s exhilarating in the way fighting always is to him, but there’s a charge behind it too, tantalizing and attractive. Loki’s eyes glow emerald when he’s angry and Tony’s burn almost gold in the right light.
They could be miles apart or inches from one another’s face and Tony would still look like he’s about to pounce, teeth showing as he yells, body tense and breathing punctuated.
“Im not asking you to make it easier— oh— Oh wait, did I get it wrong? Do you hate it that much that you’re trying to find a way out of it? Is that why you keep saying shit like this? Fine. Great. How about we work on that?”
His nostrils flare as he sees Steve over Loki’s shoulder and he addresses the blond. “Where’s Banner? Tell him I need him for a special project!”
Now he’s just upsetting himself for no real reason. The thought of being apart from Loki is turning his stomach but let no one say Tony Stark isn’t one of the most stubborn creatures in the universe.
"Oh, of course!" Loki sneers, anger and hurt mingling into the toxic air that surrounds them. "The great Tony Stark, our savior, who is so smart he will solve the conundrum that scholars have been trying to solve since before his species could even speak. If only they had half of his mind and a third of his gigantic ego!" Like a rabbit trapped in a bramble, every barb tears into his own skin but he can't stop struggling. As if the act will free him rather than bring him closer to his end.
Thor places a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Brother, you need-"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Loki rounds on him, oh to happy to have a new outlet for his anger. "I'm not your brother! You've never cared what I need, just what best suits you! So why don't you just fly off and play the hero, while the villain," Loki violently gestures to himself, "stays here and self-destructs?"
“Fellas,” is about all Rogers gets to contribute before Thor envelops Loki is a hug.
“I have been selfish, Loki. My fall and your loss showed me all too well my errors. I try still to right what I have done, and with you once again with me, I will work to make the wrongs I caused right to you.”
Tony stands alone, the fire in his chest turned to ice. His breathing is more shallow now, as if his lungs burn with each attempt, as if he’s slowly filling with concrete and turning to stone. He turns eyes bright with tears that will sting and remain unshed away from Thor and Loki as he tries to think of a way out of this situation that doesn’t look like he’s running.
Tony Stark doesn’t care. Tony Stark is pompous and arrogant and a garbage human whose selfishness makes his heroics self servicing. He makes everything worse in his attempts to make them better and he doesn’t care because he knows he’s right. In the end, he may well stand alone, but he’ll be right.
Tony mechanically straightens and lets his mind close itself off. He turns on his heels and heads away from the scene with poor Rogers left unsure what to do. Ultimately, he chooses to remain with Thor in case Loki turns violent. Tony will be fine alone.
Loki struggles, spitting more insults at Thor but stopping short of actually stabbing him (no matter how appealing that is right now.) Thor doesn't let go the whole time. He'd spent enough time letting go of his brother when he needed him, he won't make that mistake again.
Eventually, after Tony walks away, Loki's struggles die down and he hangs limp, breathing heavy. "You can let go now."
"You aren't going to go after him and start yelling again?" Thor asks.
"Norns, Thor, you aren't my father."
"That didn't sound like a no."
"Fine! No, I won't go after Stark to continue our fight!" Despite how angry Loki still sounds, Thor lets go, confident he had turned the anger to him rather than his brother's soulmate. His mother had warned him of this, how anger can create an ever growing feedback loop between bonded that grows and grows. She was worried the situation would happen and charged Thor to watch after Loki, not only physically but emotionally as well.
Loki straightens his leathers with a huff before turning his attention to Rogers.
"We can be approximately 5 miles away from each other without adverse effects." He does not specify who he is talking about, trusting the human to understand. "Should I don a disguise before assisting with the search and rescue efforts?"
"Actually, only SHIELD and the Avengers know who you are," Natasha says from the end of the hallway. Loki doesn't know how long she's been there. He doesn't like it, and he for sure doesn't like that she's somehow able to sneak up on him. "Well, that and a handful of people in Germany, but we're working on that."
Loki raises an eyebrow at her. Luckily it seems she's just as adept at nonverbal communication as she answers the question without making him voice it. "You never left the tower during the invasion. Publicly, SHIELD decided it's best to put the whole blame on the aliens. You can't exactly help with rebuilding if people are trying to get revenge on you the whole time."
A perfectly reasonable solution for all of them. Rogers nods and points to Loki and Natasha. "Natasha, can you take him to that collapsed building on 5th? There's still survivors in there, his magic may be able to help us find them."
"Can do, Cap." Natasha jerks her head and starts walking to the elevator, expecting Loki to follow. He does, along with Thor, but Steve stays in place.
Before they reach the exit, Loki turns back to the captain. "Check on him."
"That's what I was planning on," Steve says. Loki nods and gets on the elevator with the others as Steve turns to find Tony.
JARVIS has the mobile armor on the way and Tony is standing with his back facing the entrance of the room by the time Steve finds him. The engineer can see him in the reflection of the glass and he presses his lips together before bowing his head and turning around.
“Spare me the lecture, Rogers. And don’t demand explanations because I don’t have any. What part of the city do you need me in or do you just want me to be eyes in the sky?”
"I was actually going to ask if you're okay," Steve says, leaning on the door. He doesn't know Tony. He sort of knew Howard, but from what he understands the man either put up a good face or changed a lot while he was on ice.
"You want to work with him, or do you want to help the fire department on 10th?" He doesn't want to force Tony to work in an area where his attention might be compromised. Unfortunately the person who would know where that is is Tony himself.
“Fire department,” Tony says with immediate venom, though the slump in his shoulders tell a different story. This reaction is not due to the staff, turning the Avengers against one another. Tony’s dislike for Rogers is not the guy’s fault. It had been cultivated over years and years of his father’s own personal brand of assholery.
He’s seen Cap fight now. He’s seen how he’s been able to adapt to over half a century of disconnect. The guy is strong, and lonely, and trying to get by. Tony exhales through his nose and approaches just as the mobile armor arrives at the window and then turns the corner to find an opening. He pauses by the larger man.
“You don’t know me, Cap. But I just want to help. And you probably hate Loki but I think he wants to help even more than I do. It’s not a pass but he’s kinda had a shit few years there and... we’re going to do our best. I’ll see you out there.”
"I'm not going to lie: I don't understand it," Steve says. "Don't think I ever will, really. But everyone deserves a second chance. If this Thanos really is as bad as he sounds, Loki took a big risk crossing him. That earns him some trust in my book."
Steve gives Tony a strong pat on the shoulder before turning to leave for his own rescue operations.
Down on the street, two gods and a master assassins make their way to a building collapsed by one of the few Chitauri Whales that made it through before the portal closed. Thor begins gently moving rubble under the direction of the local rescue specialist while Natasha gets information from the nearby fire chief.
Loki puts a hand to the ground and gently pushes his magic into the building, searching for signs of life. After a moment of concentration he calls over the location of a group of a group as well as three life signs that are dangerously weak. He alternates between moving rubble with a combination of magic and his natural strength, and checking for any changes in the survivors. It is slow, tedious work, but it is methodical like his studies, something Loki can easily loose himself in.
By the end of the afternoon, only twenty four hours since the acourge on the city began, Loki and Thor have made the news as their strength and magic and courage pull over three dozen people from death after the worst terrorist attack on American soil since 9-11.
Whatever guilt Loki might feel for this, for any of the destruction he’s caused, the sheer fact that there is well deserved adoration for his kindness and his help may well still some of the topical sting.
Tony has spent the same time helping to break down fallen Leviathan, using his technology to bag and tag pieces of Chitauri gear so it can’t be taken and used to reverse engineer weapons... or worse.
JARVIS and Steve are both constant voices in his ear but Tony’s already had to AI focus in on Loki and keeps tabs on him throughout the city through tapped in surveillance footage that runs continuously at the bottom of his HUD.
When Rogers calls it for a break and a meet up at the still mostly intact Tower, Tony reluctantly flies home and lingers on the landing pad on the balcony. A familiar looking flop of unruly curls greets him and Bruce helps him remove the suit when the machinery Tony had built to do so fails to unlatch several pieces do to damage from debris.
“I’ve mapped your brain waves. And Loki’s. It’s crazy, the points they intersect. But there are points where they don’t. There might be a way to pry them apart.”
Tony struggles to pull up the face plate and then frowns down at Banner. “Sounds like there’s a problem there.”
“Uh. Yeah so it could maybe leave you a vegetable. Loki’s waves are more robust—“
Tony shrugs as Bruce tugs at one of the gauntlets and nearly stumbles back when it gives way. “Keep working on it. I’ll work on my DNR.”
Loki is exhausted. The delicate work they were doing all day requires much more control than non-practitioners realize, causing more strain. It kept him busy, wore him out enough that his mind can only focus on one thing at a time.
The three of them make it back shortly after Tony touches down, Loki having successfully gotten the smallest hint of a smile out of Natasha shortly before the elevator doors open. The triumph of the moment is eclipsed when he sees Tony on the landing pad. He wants to go to him, but his feet stay rooted to the spot. How badly did he mess things up this morning?
Natasha nudges him with her elbow. "Go make up. He's going to be impossible if you two don't try to talk it out."
It's all the permission he needs. Without even a nod of acknowledgement, Loki goes to the door connecting the common area to the landing pad. He watches almost bemused as Banner and Stark struggle to get a tricky latch on one of the gauntlets. With a snap the offending closure relents and the armor piece falls into Banner's hands.
The doctor looks over at Loki, then between Loki and Tony a couple of times before murmuring something to Tony before heading inside.
"I lost my temper this morning," Loki says when they are finally alone. "I...I will do my best to keep my emotions in check in the future." He pointedly doesn't apologize. Tony's made it clear he doesn't like apologies, which is good because Loki doesn't like to apologize.
“Did you?” Tony is good at the disinterested game. This is something he’s had years and years of practice doing. When the kids his age thought he was weird because he graduated college but still wanted to be ‘friends’ because he paid for everything? Disinterest. When the pretty blonde used him for a story the same way he used her for an hour of connection? Disinterest. When his parents had their accident and Stark Industries was his? Disinterest.
It’s better not to care than to be hurt.
But of course, Loki can literally feel that the disinterest is put on. Tony isn’t fooling anyone. And he knows it.
“Nothing you said was wrong. Including the point that we are going to end up killing each other.”
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cuttingremark) wrote2021-11-10 05:17 pm
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It must be something that men from that era can do. His dad used to give him that same look.
Tony exhales very slowly and squares his shoulders. It’s time to pretend he doesn’t care.
Striding forward, out of the intricate pattern that the Bifrost left, Tony slips his hands into his pockets. “Sorry, got called away. What did I miss?”
“Tony?” For some reason, Tony keeps on forgetting about Pepper. His stomach flip flops as she pushes through the others and flings her arms around him.
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There are few people on the platform. Thor, who had come down shortly before them, Captain Rogers, doing his best impression of a glare at Stark, Nick Fury, who Loki believes is just glaring all the time, and a red head he does not recognize. When she runs forward and throws herself at Stark he realizes this must be his lover.
She is beautiful, and Loki feels a muted form of the pang of guilt Tony has for not thinking of her while they were away. He also feels the affection, though what happens with that is entirely up to the two of them at this point.
Not wanting to interrupt the couple's reunion, Loki strides over to Fury and Rogers.
"Captain Rogers, have you had a chance to review the information I left for you regarding our enemy?"
Steve gives Loki the 'I don't trust you, but neither can I punch you right now' look. "Yeah, lot of good intel in there. If you're telling the truth, it'll be pretty helpful."
"Awful lot of info for only a couple months on board this ship," Fury says. "You gave us pretty much everything but the guy's shoe size."
"I have a good memory," Loki says, not entirely enjoying the tone the Director is taking.
"Uh huh, and we're just suppose to believe that you haven't put that weird juju on Stark and Thor to get close to us?" Fury asks.
"I highly doubt there's anything I can do that would actually convince you, so yes."
Tiring of the conversation, Loki looks back to Tony and the woman, Pepper. Suddenly there's a sharp pain on his left hand. He hisses and whips around to see the thin cut just beginning to bleed there. Steve is staring at Fury in angry disbelief, likely due to the knife in the spy's hand.
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Dark eyes leave Pepper’s face and his hand to trail the space between himself and Loki. There’s a questioning look on his face, before he shakes his hand out and lets Pepper take it again. “I didn’t mean to worry you but—“. He can’t focus. Loki’s been hurt. His bonded had been injured and it’s getting him bothered under the collar. “Sorry. Excuse me... what the hell are you doing?”
Tony feels his ire rising again.
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"Testing if what Horns over here was the truth or not," Fury says as he wipes the dagger off on. "At least we can confirm the pain part. You're hand alright?"
"Perfectly fine," Loki says, drawing a healing rune in his own blood next to the cut.
"Not you, princess. Stark."
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She doesn’t know. No one’s filled her in.
Tony isn’t sure why that makes him so angry. It hadn’t been anyone’s place to tell her, but maybe it would have made things easier. Or worse. Tony isn’t rightly sure. He drops his hand and bumps it against Pepper’s. “We need to talk,” he says. “And I’m not going to sugar coat it, Pep. It’s not great.”
Tony tries not to look up at Loki as he turns away from the group to get Pepper somewhere with less eyes. Of course, Fury always needs to get his answers. He’s maddeningly thorough that way. “Stark?” He repeats the last question and Tony holds his hand up before flipping the Cyclops off.
Loki will be all right without him. He’ll be all right. He’s got Thor. He can take care of himself. He tried to destroy their planet and kill them but he provided a lot of good information and he’s going to be fine.
It takes a lot of strength fo Tony to leave his side but he does.
no subject
He sighs and finishes the rune. The cut doesn't heal, but it does stop bleeding at least.
Fury whistles. "That's a neat trick. Why didn't you do that earlier when you were trying to kill us all?"
Loki completely ignores him, turning instead to Captain Rogers and Thor. "Shall we go inside and begin discussing strategies? I assume, Thor, you secured Odin's word to assist when the time comes?"
Thor nods, still staring angrily at Fury. "Aye, Father has promised as many Einherjar as can be spared without leaving Asgard defenseless."
Loki dutifully ignores Fury for the rest of the conversation. Sensing how on edge he is, Rogers suggests Fury go back to the hellicarrier while they get to work in the tower. After Fury leaves, Thor claps Loki on the back.
"Well done, brother. I thought you were going to turn him into a frog for sure," The thunderer says.
"That was the one time, Thor. And only because you destroyed my arcane theory notes."
Loki isn't sure where Tony is, but he knows he's close by. It's weird being apart, but then it's a different kind of weird feeling weird that they're apart. They go down the hall and to a large open common area ajoined to a kitchen.
"Seriously, Loki," Rogers says as Thor heads to the kitchen. "Thanks for not hurting Director Fury. He attacked you unprovoked, it would have been the perfect excuse."
"And exactly what he wanted," Loki says absentmindedly, trying not to stare down the hallway he just knows Tony is going to emerge from.
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She doesn’t understand. She says she does but who could unless they feel it? Her questions are pointed and Tony is as honest as he can be without offering more information than she’s expecting.
As Loki goes over the compiled information, as he explains the intricacies of the research SHIELD has facilitated based on what he’d already given them, he’ll feel the pain and hope and the guilt that goes through Tony as Pepper tries her best to set boundaries.
It’s not going to work. Tony holds her hands and tells her that he loves her but he knows this isn’t going to work.
He wants to be with Loki. He doesn’t say it but maybe it comes through the bond even as he promises not to let anything change between himself and Pepper.
It will. It already has. And he hates himself for lying.
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Rogers is surprisingly helpful to his focus. Loki knows his reputation as a tactician, so he shouldn't be as surprised as he is when he asks about an aspect of Thanos' forces Loki hadn't considered. He even notices the miniscule flinch Loki gives when Thor says the monster's name and begins calling him the Titan instead.
Near the end of Tony's conversation with Pepper, Loki stands.
"Pardon me, for just a moment." He leaves the room and heads down the strangely familiar halls. He stops just outside the only room with a closed door, soft voices conversing on just the other side. He's about to knock, but then stops himself.
This is silly. Stark is a grown man, he can handle himself. He's not in any danger, Loki's presence there would likely make the situation even more awkward. No, he's the god of Lies, he can come up with something.
He knocks gently.
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“He probably could tell I was—“
“Upset? You? Tony,” she sounds so tired and maybe a little broken. Had she slept at all since the attack? “He did this. All of this. They’re saying that there’s over five thousand people missing. Thousands have died or were hurt—“
“Pepper, this wasn’t anyone’s plan. He’s not happy about it either,” Tony counters, under his breath, purposefully not mentioning how fulfilling an experience it’s becoming for him.
“Why not Thor?”
Tony frowns. “It doesn’t work that w— Wait. Why Thor?”
“That would have been sexier,” Pepper says as her heels click on the floor. She’s approaching it to open it for her boyfriend’s new... well. They don’t have a name for it other than soulmate and she’s not using that one.
“So is Thor your type now? Because he’s not mine.”
“I thought you like blondes,” Pepper shoots back, then clears her throat and wipes her eyes before she opens the door. Her gaze is steady. “Did you need something?”
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He sighs. "Stark has explained the situation regarding our marks, correct?"
Pepper gives a curt nod. "He has. I still don't believe it, though. You come down here, kill people, try to take over, then what? Get a magic tattoo and stop?" She laughs. "No, there's something else going on, you're aiming for something, and-"
"I'm sorry."
Pepper stops mid-rant. "What?"
"I'm sorry to have caused this schism. If there were a way to undo it, I would." It hurts to say, but he can't help but feel in this moment Tony would be better off, happier, without him. It is a paradox that the bond fosters this care in him, and therefor he wants the bond to end for the sake of his soulmate.
"There is nothing I can do that will fully make up for the destruction I brought to this world," he continues. "But I will do everything I can to try."
He doesn't wait for her to reply before looking to Tony.
"We were planning for search and rescue around the city. The Chitahuri were without guidance for the short time they were here, so any deaths will be incidental, and hopefully many preventable if we act quickly. Captain Rogers has pointed out several destroyed buildings that could still have survivors in them. He had hoped you would have a suit or drone that could assist."
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When Loki is close, the incessant sound of his own internal monologue and new, ground breaking inventions that almost cripple him fade away to manageable levels without alcohol. He is the epitome of the new and the different. He is the only person who truly will ever be able to understand him.
Tony rubs the place the mark is over his ribs and stands.
“Let me try to help,” Tony says and Pepper does her best not to roll her wet eyes.
“Go. You have work to do,” she says, a variation of what she always says. Tony knows she’d given in to being second to Iron Man.
And he knows being third might be too much for her.
He nods and follows Loki through the door, hands backed into fists. There had been no big, no kiss for Pepper on parting. No goodbye either. But Tony is not at all upset with Loki. He’s thankful.
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"I am sorry." He doesn't like apologizing, especially for things that aren't even technically his fault, but he doesn't know what else to say.
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The bond drums a soothing beat through his head but does nothing to really calm Tony down.
“You’re stuck with me. I halved your life. I’m not someone your family and Asgard want for you. And you— Let’s not sugar coat it. You are public enemy number one and no one is going to understand this for me either. So... that makes us perfect for each other. I guess. So don’t be sorry, got it? I’m not sorry. I don’t want you to be sorry.”
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"You don't get to tell me how to feel! I know what this means, far better than you. I am trying to make it easier for you so we don't end up killing ourselves just to get away from each other, because for once in my life, I actually almost like living." The only reason he realizes he's shouting is because Thor and Captain Rogers come running out of the planning room they had set up.
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They could be miles apart or inches from one another’s face and Tony would still look like he’s about to pounce, teeth showing as he yells, body tense and breathing punctuated.
“Im not asking you to make it easier— oh— Oh wait, did I get it wrong? Do you hate it that much that you’re trying to find a way out of it? Is that why you keep saying shit like this? Fine. Great. How about we work on that?”
His nostrils flare as he sees Steve over Loki’s shoulder and he addresses the blond. “Where’s Banner? Tell him I need him for a special project!”
Now he’s just upsetting himself for no real reason. The thought of being apart from Loki is turning his stomach but let no one say Tony Stark isn’t one of the most stubborn creatures in the universe.
Or that Loki isn’t just as bad.
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Thor places a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Brother, you need-"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Loki rounds on him, oh to happy to have a new outlet for his anger. "I'm not your brother! You've never cared what I need, just what best suits you! So why don't you just fly off and play the hero, while the villain," Loki violently gestures to himself, "stays here and self-destructs?"
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“I have been selfish, Loki. My fall and your loss showed me all too well my errors. I try still to right what I have done, and with you once again with me, I will work to make the wrongs I caused right to you.”
Tony stands alone, the fire in his chest turned to ice. His breathing is more shallow now, as if his lungs burn with each attempt, as if he’s slowly filling with concrete and turning to stone. He turns eyes bright with tears that will sting and remain unshed away from Thor and Loki as he tries to think of a way out of this situation that doesn’t look like he’s running.
Tony Stark doesn’t care. Tony Stark is pompous and arrogant and a garbage human whose selfishness makes his heroics self servicing. He makes everything worse in his attempts to make them better and he doesn’t care because he knows he’s right. In the end, he may well stand alone, but he’ll be right.
Tony mechanically straightens and lets his mind close itself off. He turns on his heels and heads away from the scene with poor Rogers left unsure what to do. Ultimately, he chooses to remain with Thor in case Loki turns violent. Tony will be fine alone.
And it’s not like they’re friends.
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Eventually, after Tony walks away, Loki's struggles die down and he hangs limp, breathing heavy. "You can let go now."
"You aren't going to go after him and start yelling again?" Thor asks.
"Norns, Thor, you aren't my father."
"That didn't sound like a no."
"Fine! No, I won't go after Stark to continue our fight!" Despite how angry Loki still sounds, Thor lets go, confident he had turned the anger to him rather than his brother's soulmate. His mother had warned him of this, how anger can create an ever growing feedback loop between bonded that grows and grows. She was worried the situation would happen and charged Thor to watch after Loki, not only physically but emotionally as well.
Loki straightens his leathers with a huff before turning his attention to Rogers.
"We can be approximately 5 miles away from each other without adverse effects." He does not specify who he is talking about, trusting the human to understand. "Should I don a disguise before assisting with the search and rescue efforts?"
"Actually, only SHIELD and the Avengers know who you are," Natasha says from the end of the hallway. Loki doesn't know how long she's been there. He doesn't like it, and he for sure doesn't like that she's somehow able to sneak up on him. "Well, that and a handful of people in Germany, but we're working on that."
Loki raises an eyebrow at her. Luckily it seems she's just as adept at nonverbal communication as she answers the question without making him voice it. "You never left the tower during the invasion. Publicly, SHIELD decided it's best to put the whole blame on the aliens. You can't exactly help with rebuilding if people are trying to get revenge on you the whole time."
A perfectly reasonable solution for all of them. Rogers nods and points to Loki and Natasha. "Natasha, can you take him to that collapsed building on 5th? There's still survivors in there, his magic may be able to help us find them."
"Can do, Cap." Natasha jerks her head and starts walking to the elevator, expecting Loki to follow. He does, along with Thor, but Steve stays in place.
Before they reach the exit, Loki turns back to the captain. "Check on him."
"That's what I was planning on," Steve says. Loki nods and gets on the elevator with the others as Steve turns to find Tony.
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“Spare me the lecture, Rogers. And don’t demand explanations because I don’t have any. What part of the city do you need me in or do you just want me to be eyes in the sky?”
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"You want to work with him, or do you want to help the fire department on 10th?" He doesn't want to force Tony to work in an area where his attention might be compromised. Unfortunately the person who would know where that is is Tony himself.
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He’s seen Cap fight now. He’s seen how he’s been able to adapt to over half a century of disconnect. The guy is strong, and lonely, and trying to get by. Tony exhales through his nose and approaches just as the mobile armor arrives at the window and then turns the corner to find an opening. He pauses by the larger man.
“You don’t know me, Cap. But I just want to help. And you probably hate Loki but I think he wants to help even more than I do. It’s not a pass but he’s kinda had a shit few years there and... we’re going to do our best. I’ll see you out there.”
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Steve gives Tony a strong pat on the shoulder before turning to leave for his own rescue operations.
Down on the street, two gods and a master assassins make their way to a building collapsed by one of the few Chitauri Whales that made it through before the portal closed. Thor begins gently moving rubble under the direction of the local rescue specialist while Natasha gets information from the nearby fire chief.
Loki puts a hand to the ground and gently pushes his magic into the building, searching for signs of life. After a moment of concentration he calls over the location of a group of a group as well as three life signs that are dangerously weak. He alternates between moving rubble with a combination of magic and his natural strength, and checking for any changes in the survivors. It is slow, tedious work, but it is methodical like his studies, something Loki can easily loose himself in.
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Whatever guilt Loki might feel for this, for any of the destruction he’s caused, the sheer fact that there is well deserved adoration for his kindness and his help may well still some of the topical sting.
Tony has spent the same time helping to break down fallen Leviathan, using his technology to bag and tag pieces of Chitauri gear so it can’t be taken and used to reverse engineer weapons... or worse.
JARVIS and Steve are both constant voices in his ear but Tony’s already had to AI focus in on Loki and keeps tabs on him throughout the city through tapped in surveillance footage that runs continuously at the bottom of his HUD.
When Rogers calls it for a break and a meet up at the still mostly intact Tower, Tony reluctantly flies home and lingers on the landing pad on the balcony. A familiar looking flop of unruly curls greets him and Bruce helps him remove the suit when the machinery Tony had built to do so fails to unlatch several pieces do to damage from debris.
“I’ve mapped your brain waves. And Loki’s. It’s crazy, the points they intersect. But there are points where they don’t. There might be a way to pry them apart.”
Tony struggles to pull up the face plate and then frowns down at Banner. “Sounds like there’s a problem there.”
“Uh. Yeah so it could maybe leave you a vegetable. Loki’s waves are more robust—“
Tony shrugs as Bruce tugs at one of the gauntlets and nearly stumbles back when it gives way. “Keep working on it. I’ll work on my DNR.”
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The three of them make it back shortly after Tony touches down, Loki having successfully gotten the smallest hint of a smile out of Natasha shortly before the elevator doors open. The triumph of the moment is eclipsed when he sees Tony on the landing pad. He wants to go to him, but his feet stay rooted to the spot. How badly did he mess things up this morning?
Natasha nudges him with her elbow. "Go make up. He's going to be impossible if you two don't try to talk it out."
It's all the permission he needs. Without even a nod of acknowledgement, Loki goes to the door connecting the common area to the landing pad. He watches almost bemused as Banner and Stark struggle to get a tricky latch on one of the gauntlets. With a snap the offending closure relents and the armor piece falls into Banner's hands.
The doctor looks over at Loki, then between Loki and Tony a couple of times before murmuring something to Tony before heading inside.
"I lost my temper this morning," Loki says when they are finally alone. "I...I will do my best to keep my emotions in check in the future." He pointedly doesn't apologize. Tony's made it clear he doesn't like apologies, which is good because Loki doesn't like to apologize.
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It’s better not to care than to be hurt.
But of course, Loki can literally feel that the disinterest is put on. Tony isn’t fooling anyone. And he knows it.
“Nothing you said was wrong. Including the point that we are going to end up killing each other.”
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Gosh this is one of those days :(
Same here :(
Re: Same here :(
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